A week came after my ex boyfriend cleared his
affair with another woman. I was like carrying the whole planet. Right at that
time, I keep on asking myself where do I begin living without him? I was one of
those damn love fanatics. Well, what now? Now that his gone? He’s JUST cheating. Who would have thought anyway?
One day, at about 10am, while strolling around
the famous dating station here in Cebu-that’s Emall, some spirit crossed in my
sight. “Is that him? I’m asking my sister who is a meter beside me. Hey, this
isn’t real. I’m talking to myself. Oh come on’ … breath – breath. My heart
keeps on trembling inside that I almost can’t get over with. I thought of
calming myself, avoiding to get panic because I’m totally out of my mind and
I’m kind’a nervous. What am I going to do?
Insanity, here again. My sister was blind about the consciousness I’ve
been feeling. Besides she got her world
too. Now, where am I? I’m back to myself. I tried to captivate him. Alas ! ….
He was looking at me ?
[Di bale
nang nakita mo akong nakatingin sayo, atleast --- napatunayan kong tinitingnan
mo din ako! ! !]
There was this cold wind brushing around my
hair. That feeling just like the old times. I started reminiscing my past with
him. Damn ! I got a hard time in forgetting. The memory of first love was
really unbreakable. So forth, I was thinking the song ‘we are never ever
getting back together’ ..
… I remember when we broke up the first time
--- I once became a traffic in colon, wherein I CAN’T REALLY MOVE ON!
Days
passed, I was intrigue to asked his number from his new girlfriend.
True! I don’t have some sort of ‘pride stuff’ before. My face is 5cm thick, you
see. Imagine, I’ve been pushing myself
into someone? Someone who doesn’t even care about my existence? How
stupid! I was pathetic .. really ! Is this what they called love? ...If
love conquers all, then why does love makes our tears fall???
What’s wrong? My friend shouting in a doubt. I cried and said “nothing then I
turn around and whispered everything”. I fool myself. I keep on pretending to
believe that someday-somehow, he will come again to fulfill our promises of
forever. Just as I was waiting for a rose to grow without thorns.
How
long am I going to wait? Hell, No ! I still want him to be mine.
Whhhhhhattttttt ? he was my first degree
cousin????? … is that for real ? Ahuh !
my dad confirmed. Oh, my God! How on earth am I gonna believe that he’s the one
??? … very confusing … yes !
One morning , an iceberg melted in my heart
then suddenly a heater came along. It was like a bomb hitting some part of
Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Oh ! no…….. ‘dhe ? can you be my girlfriend
again? I can’t believe it when I said …
YES ! We automatically is on! But the
thing is, there are two of us in his life. I tried to confront him and it seems
to be a controversial issue. I don’t get him. So forth, I came to think that
he’s not the one. My friends were right. I let him go … and I keep on crying
too.
Come on, don’t get me wrong. I’m just one of
those victims of love, totally stupid and naive enough, to think that he was
into me. Shit! I’m not prepared for this. I just broke. He left me speechless.
And he’s been a selfish nerd.
" Love comes at the sweetest and ends perfectly at the bitterness"
" Love then is HARD to FIND and much HARDER to DENY "
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